// My Eyes//

-my eyes-
if you could see into my eyes,
you would see into my soul.
the outer shell of a man is strong,
the outer shell of a man is resilient.
the soul within,
is that of a child.
scared, alone and in the dark,
waiting for someone to turn on a light.
if you could see into my eyes,
you would see the pain that my smile hides.
pretty good at faking a smile,
pretty good at faking a laugh.
looking past the smile,
you would see the real me.
if you could see into my eyes,
you would see the real me.
3/12/13
©raybarrientesjr

// Next Chapter//

-next chapter-
death is not the end,
it is just the beginning.
it’s the next step,
it’s the next part of the journey.
it’s the freedom we search for,
leave the body and be free.
no need to sleep,
no need to eat.
no pain,
no suffering.
close your eyes,
and wake to the next chapter.
death is not the end,
it is only the beginning of something new.
3/12/13
©raybarrientesjr.

// You For I (6/19/12)//

-you for i-
enter you for i,
and see what i see.
feel what it is i feel,
words and thoughts alike.
relate to my pain,
feel my pain.
what i say is not just for me,
but for you as well.
i am saying what you wish to,
i am saying what you feel deep down.
look back,
enter you for i.
you will see,
you will feel.
6/19/12
ray b.™

// Hey You (5/24/12)//

-hey you-
the screen lights up,
i open the text.
“hey you,”
is what is staring me in the face.
no one wants to be alone,
nor feel lonely.
after battling with myself,
i reluctantly reply.
i know it’s not going to bowed well,
the inevitable out come is that of heart ache.
it’s been three months,
since i have seen her.
i thought i was doing well,
went from thinking about her day and night.
to only just as i wake,
and just before i pass out at night.
this was the first time i did not wake,
to the thought of her.
with a simple “hey you,”
the mind runs wild with thoughts.
maybe she misses me,
maybe she is thinking about me,
maybe she want to get together,
maybe she wants to get back together.
with two words,
my world comes crashing down.
with two words,
the imagination fires up.
all the things she and i could do,
will do and should do.

“hey you,”
boom goes the dynamite.
and my world comes crashing down.
5/24/12

// Deployment (5/17/12)//

-deployment-
i would rather spend all my free time with you,
then spending it on my own.
i rather have you and lost you,
then to have never had you at all.
i would rather laugh with you,
then have no joy at all.
i would rather see you smile,
then have to imagine it.
i would rather hold you,
then to sit alone under a starry night sky.
i would rather be with you,
then be away from you.

don’t be sad when i am not around,
i much rather be there then here.
let’s stay close,
because this could be our last day.
let’s snuggle up tight,
because this could be our last night.
let’s talk about what we did,
when i return.
let’s plan our life together,
because i will return.
i will keep this picture in my pocket,
you keep that picture in your locket.
your half with you,
my half with me.
in my heart you will be,
and in my head to keep me safe.

i would much rather be there with you,
then here away from you.
5/17/12

// The Warmth Of Another (10/12/11)//

-the warmth of another-
the warmth of another,
something that keeps the heart and soul fighting on.
to live for them,
to die for them,
to share in all of life’s nuances.

the warmth of another,
we hold them close,
we hold them tight,
we love with all our heart.
hate to see them fail,
hate to see them in pain.

the warmth of another,
the secrets shared,
the inside jokes.
the ability to speak without uttering a word,
to know what you are thinking just by a glance,
to know every expression you make and know,
what they mean,
without question.

the warmth of another,
is what we long for.
the warmth of another,
is what we strive for.

i need you,
you need me,
all the things in between don’t count,
just the you and i,
no if’s, and’s or but’s about it.
no games,
no puzzles,
no riddles,
just the you and i.
the warmth of another.
10/12/11

// Share This With Me//

-share this with me-
i want to share this view with you,
i want to watch you stare into the night.
i want to see that look in eye,
and the look on your face.
as you discover this view,
just as i did.
the first night and the following morning.
i want to share with you how this makes me feel,
i want you to feel what i feel.
i want you to fall in love with this view,
like i have fallen for you.
come with me,
see what i see,
and get lost in this.
this view that no photo could do it justice,
this view that brings peace of mind.

so let me gaze at you,
as you gaze into the city lights,
and fall for this city,
just as i did.
1/28/12

// What’s Her Name?//

-what’s her name?-
didn’t know your name,
but you knew mine,
didn’t know where you took me,
you said it was your place,
i need more drinks to get there,
you kept giving me more drinks to keep me there,
i found myself in your bed,
you found yourself on me in your bed,
we did that midnight tango,
i still don’t know your name,
so i give you a name,
i gave you her name,
you did not seem to care,
there was only one thing that you wanted,
there was only one thing i wanted,
it was not you,
but you will have to do.

i lie in this bed holding someone whom i don’t know,
i lie here pretending to be asleep,
when i feel you fall asleep,
i get up,
put it all back on and creep out of the room,
holding my keys so they don’t make a sound,
phone on vibrate,
no unexpected call will wake you.

the walk of shame is cold and long,
where did i park?
find the car to get out if dodge,
who was that girl,
how much did i have to drink,
hope she was on the pill,
nah i wrapped it,
all thoughts rushing through my head,
as i look through my wallet,
okay it’s not in there i’m good.

shower then bed,
before climbing into bed,
*search contacts*
looking for that new number,
oh that was her name,
*delete*
time for bed.
9/18/11

// Boomerang//

-boomerang-
who will you run to now,
i was that shoulder those many months ago,
you called when you needed me,
when you needed to vent,
when you needed to get out,
when you just needed someone to be with,
and now you have someone,
yet you turn to old familiar faces,
minus this one,
but then it’s only a matter of time right?
was once told that i would not see you again,
but look where that led,
so i will bide my time,
patiently as possible,
but not a life time.
8/24/11

// No Love For Strangers//

-no love for strangers-
“let’s leave this place,”
she once asked me,
“let’s get in your truck and drive away,
let’s go as far as we can in one night.”
i did not know how to reply,
but i grabbed my keys anyway,
“what the hell, why not.”
was all i could say.
sad thing was she had fallen in love,
and i was not there yet.
she thought we were going for a long drive,
but all i could do was drive her home.
walk her to the door,
a kiss on the cheek,
then handing her keys back.
“farewell and good night,
it was not meant to be.”
was all i said as turned and walked away.
never heard from her again,
i could be wrong but i think she hates me.
8/21/11

// Life Sentence//

-life sentence-
a prisoner of the mind and heart,
no escaping this life sentence,
the mind replays life,
to the point of insanity,
the heart makes the pain truly unbarable,
this life sentence is no walk in the park,
for the memories both good and bad,
will make the heart ache,
in both pain and pleasure.
8/21/11

// A Prisoner//

-a prisoner-
the shackles that bind,
are invisible to the naked eye,
but yet so visible to whom holds the key,
even if the holder of that key would deny it,
it is ever so clear,
there is no release from those shackles.
8/21/11

// This Fool//

-this fool-
i was born a fool,
so i do foolish things,
some may say i’m a fool,
and they would be right.
as a fool it’s hard to give up,
for a fool knows not when to quit,
or when to surrender,
this fool is a glutton for pain,
if it can cause pain this fool will stick it out,
so throw all you can at this fool,
and never see this fool cry or complain,
just joke and shrug.
sad thing is this fool is dying on the inside,
waiting for the time when he will,
no longer be this fool,
you see before you.
8/20/11